Baby Names

So my wife and I are having a baby next month. We both agree that it feels like she's been pregnant forever, but the due date has crept up on us rather quickly. I have to say that I have soooooo much respect for women, and even more now that I have lived with a pregnant one for nearly 8 months. What they do is EPIC, and my wife is awesome.

One of the main topics of conversation that my wife and I have had ever since we got engaged has been baby names. However, now that we're nearing the time when we'll actually have to settle on one, that conversation has dwindled.

And I'll tell you why.

Before she was pregnant we lived in a baby-name fantasy world. We could mention and discuss any name under the sun because it was all hypothetical. Girl names seemed to come more naturally to both of us, so we talked about names like Penleigh, Amelia, Lucy, Olivia, Anne, etc. with differing opinions and a light attitude. Boy names like Max, Brian, Andrew, and Miles also came along, but less frequently and with less excitement.

Then she got pregnant, and the hypotheticals got a little less hypothetical, but still somewhat hypothetical because we didn't know the sex of the baby. Discussions became a bit more thoughtful, but the names didn't really change. And with the newly-added seriousness of the convo, a new tool was introduced.... The List.

Now, in the interest of full-disclosure, I must admit that I don't believe my wife will fully agree with this blog posting. She will dispute some of the particulars, and that is mainly because my wife and I think about things differently. Neither one of us thinks "better" than the other, just differently. Just like Andy and Dwight's pay-checks in "The Office." It's not that one is better than the other, just different. (Insert smiley face here and anticipate loverly wife's comment below.)

You see, my wife LOVES spreadsheets. She loves organization and accounting and boring stuff like that. That is one of the many reasons why I love her so much. We like different but complimentary things, and we have different but complimentary talents and abilities. And that's where this List comes in to play.

She took all of the names we talked about, compiled them into her guilty-pleasure... Microsoft Excel, and we got down to business. When a new name came up she added it to the list and marked it "yes," "no," or "maybe" with each of us having equal veto power. When we found out our firstborn will be a boy, we luckily were able to disregard most of The List (for now).

I write "luckily" because The List really hasn't made life easier. In fact, I've got a real beef with Excel for false advertising, but that's for another day and another post. Really it comes down to those complimentary differences in thought processes my wife and I have.

I'm a quick decision-maker. I hate loose ends. Sometimes that works in my favor, and sometimes it does not. My wife is much more thoughtful than I am. She makes sure her decisions are well-grounded and safe. That way of thinking works in her favor much more often than my way works for me.

And it is precisely this difference that has led to a lull in the baby-name discussion. I've felt uncomfortable going over the same names time and again, and she's felt uncomfortable when I've tried to use the commitment pattern to make her choose six weeks ago. I even made her pinky swear, but it didn't get me very far.

But for now we've reached a happy medium. After all the back and forth, I feel like we have at least a narrow enough list of names from which to choose once Mijo gets here, and Lynne feels like she has enough options that she's not tied down. At least that what I hope she feels like.

So now we're six weeks away from having and naming this baby. We've agreed that the boy will not be named until we meet him, and I love that idea. We still talk about names here and there, and it is pleasant and productive conversation. All in all I've appreciated this discourse and what it has taught me about myself, my wife, our relationship, and marriage in general.

That being said, though, anyone with a good idea or a campaign to name our kid after him or her should post a comment below. I guess it's possible we could still be swayed...