Dear Rachel

I'm writing this blog in response to your question at the end of your comment on my last post. For those of you who have not read the comment in question, it is the first (and only, I think) comment on my entry entitled "Mind Blowing...". Anyway, I thought I'd answer your question as kind of a "Part Deux" to the last post.

The question regarding love and relationships went as follows: "The chase is very wearing and tiring, but my hope is that it all ends well. Will it?"

I can't say that I know for sure, but I assume that's a pretty subjective question. To which end do you refer? The end of your dating life? The end of the specific relationship you mentioned? The end of the day, or the year, or your life? That's all up in the air, my friend, and only God knows the answer to those questions.

And what do you mean by "well"? "Well" like a fairy tale wedding? "Well" like securing a productive relationship where mutual love is shared? "Well" as in simply not being alone, no matter who you're with? It's all pretty relative to me.

I don't want to cop out of a real answer, so here's what I really think: It doesn't matter how "it" ends or whether or not it ends "well". All that matters is how we deal with those things over which we have personal control.

I would love to be in love with someone who is love with me. That is obviously the ideal. However, if that love isn't a part of my life now, or not part of my life for a very long time, or not part of my life ever, the important thing is that I still do my best to be a contributing member of my society, my family, and all of my relationships. It only matters that I try my best to love those around me because that is within my control.

That doesn't mean anyone should try to force relationships to levels that his/her love does not truly reach. It's okay to be single when the alternative is a relationship doomed to hardship and failure because two people are with each other for the sole purpose of avoiding solitude. In fact, it's okay to be single for a lot of reasons.

What I believe truly matters is that I seek opportunities to love, take them when they're available, and not be afraid to get hurt. And when I say opportunities to love, I do not only refer to romantic relationships. I think we can only love to the greatest degree when we're vulnerable, so it's important for me to put myself out there for friends, family, and in reality every one I meet.

That is not to say that I actually do that. I am trying to be a better person to all around me, but many of you know I'm still a jerk a lot of the time. These thoughts are meant in no way as selfaggrandizement.

In conclusion, I think we can choose to love anyone and everyone, but I'm not sure that we can choose with whom we are IN love. I think that kind of love just happens when it happens. So, Rachel, if you really want my advice, or at least my two cents, then here they are: Love everyone you can. Be a good person because you can. Feel good about yourself for doing so and all "ends" will be "well". If that love you build grows into a stronger love, embrace it. If that love is reciprocated, enjoy it. If that love is not reciprocated, just keep on loving. That's all you can control. Let go of what you can't, because after every end there comes a new beginning... whoa, overly cliche. Sorry.